A year ago yesterday. A year ago yesterday I was meeting my best friend's new baby for the first time in Black Mountain, getting to see good friends and family at Montreat, and I was wildly excited, strangely, about coming home to pack boxes for our move to Durham. Chris had stayed home to take Heath to his 9-month check-up.
And then the world as we knew it, as our families knew it, came crashing down suddenly, with the words, "you know, I think I hear something a little funny, let me get another colleague to listen too..."
As we realized what day it was yesterday, i don't think we knew how reflective we wanted, or could be. I said, "um, Chris, do you know what day it is?" "Yes, Carrie, of course I do." We left it at that. Then we went about our day--as regularly as we know how these days. we picked eb up from school, raked leaves, even had a little gelato date with friends (well, the girls did...).
Somehow, though, the gelato tasted a little better, the raked yard looked a little more beautiful, the leaves felt a little fluffy-er as we jumped in them, and the children's giggles as they jumped sounded like music to our ears.
I snapped a picture of eb helping heath up the stairs, as I teared up, thinking about the year we've had and particularly about all of the people and things for which I am so deeply grateful.
I am grateful for our families who have walked alongside us, holding our hands, crying with us, laughing with us, giving up so much of themselves to try to make this ok.
For our friends all over the world and right here who rushed to our sides, who prayed.
For the communities of faith who cared for us and prayed and had faith when we could barely hope.
For the pediatricians, hospital doctors and nurses and staff who have and continue to care for us so well. Today I am particularly grateful for a thorough pediatrician in Greensboro (thanks, Brian) and for the kind, hopeful way the folks at UNC delivered close to the worst news parents could hear a year ago on this day.
I am grateful for the hilarious conversation/playtime that is going on in the room next to me while Chris and Ella Brooks play with her dollhouse--and heath comes running over periodically to steal a doll or show us them his belly.
A year ago yesterday I remember calling my dad as I was rushing home from Black Mountain to take Heath to the hospital and saying, "dad, i don't know if we'll be able to call to say happy birthday tomorrow..." and today I will rejoice in calling him later to talk about what a lovely day it is on his birthday.
Later today Chris is going to take heath to the dedication of a local habitat house. They will participate in the beginning of someone's else's dreams for a new way of life. Fitting, I think.
