a dove, a twinkling star and an angel

Last night we had the annual Christmas pageant at Westminster. It was lovely--complete with over 70 children (whew!) who participated in sharing the Christmas story in a way that brings tears to parents, grandparents, and friends' eyes. sometimes you are laughing so hard that the tears come (friendly beasts BATTLING over who gets to sit closest to Jesus was a particular highlight...and Heath telling all of us that he wanted to HUG MARY!!). mostly, though, the tears come at the beauty of seeing all of these young, innocent children tell the story. For our family and friends, there is the added emotion of watching our little "twinkling star" parade around, and our sweet radiant dove (EB) who is growing up so fast, and remembering the anniversary of another gift of life from an Angel.

Two years ago tonight, my brother Jamie and I were standing in a throng of people in the elevator area of duke hospital. It had been a hard day--day 10 on life support, waiting--and he had come back to the hospital with me. Then phone rang.
The voice on the other end: "Mrs. Tuttle, we think we have a heart for Heath..." and everything changed for our family. I remember finding the chapel, staring at the tree of life on the wall--and in that moment, the only thing I could do was pray for the family that somewhere, far away, was having a very different moment in their lives. I didn't know what else to do. That was the only thing that was certain--somewhere there were people in their deepest moments of grief, giving the most amazing gift to someone they didn't know.

I talked to Angelina's mom last week for a really long time. It was so wonderful to hear her voice, talk about how her family was doing, talk about angelina and to be able to tell her how well Heath is doing. I don't think I had the words for "thank you." That couldn't possibly be enough. But I think she knows.

Tonight I am going to go to sleep early (my blessed extroverted child was so excited to be in the world that he didn't sleep much last night...) with a heart full of gratitude and joy and hope, but also a heavy heart for angelina's family in Texas.

I am going to think of last night, standing on the side of the sanctuary, looking out at the congregation that we have come to love so much, loving having so many of our family and good friends and neighbors right there and feeling the great rush emotion seeing our little "twinkling stars" spreading their light throughout the room.

i hope you sleep well too.

carrie

(also--very different subject, but you might like to check out my friend, page's blog about mothering and advent: http://themommyquack.blogspot.com)

the belles of the ball

a couple of months ago, a member of the development staff for duke children's hospital called us and asked if we might be willing to be 2010's Teddy Bear Ball patient family speakers. I actually remembered seeing the posters for it when Heath was in the hospital 2 years ago. we were honored to be asked--and the kids were excited about going to a BALL! (not that they understood either, but it sounded exciting!) Karen had gotten to know us well enough that she said, "now, there will be 750 people there, so it might freak ella brooks out..." she knows my girl. but, the thrill of the ball "gown" outweighed the scary thoughts of all those people. Heath and Chris got fitted for their tuxes, which apparently was hilarious in itself. The duke folks did everything they could to help us be prepared and for the kids to be comfortable--from getting us a suite at the hotel to having us come early in the day to "rehearse" to inviting mom and strow to join us so they could help us with the kids during the evening.

As you can see from the pics, it was quite an evening that none of us will ever forget. We arrived at the hotel to discover that the hotel staff (big cheers for the downtown durham marriott, btw) had left a spray of wine, cheese and fruit and chocolate milk for us...along with a couch full of gifts that brought absolute squeals of delight from my children--teddy bears with scarves embroidered with ella brooks and heath's names, coloring books, a truck for heath and a beautiful necklace/bracelet for eb. Their kindness was overwelming. We got our fancy clothes on (more pictures coming!) and made our way to the ball. The kids were pretty excited about the enormous playhouse that was being auctioned (made by the raleigh builder who did extreme home makeover--such a nice guy), got to drive the Barbie jeep (heath backed it off the playhouse pad and freaked us out earlier in the day!), made friends with lots of people who loved seeing them all dressed up, ran away from Wooly Bull (durham bulls mascot--my kids are not lovers of anything or anyone in costume!). The quote of the night: My mom looked at chris and said, "hey why don't you go grab a glass of wine?" Heath, who was standing next to Chris, said, "No thanks, I don't like wine..." hee, hee. He later did enjoy a little water in his wine glass.

We all went up on stage and I spoke for about 5 minutes. I will try to post the audio if I can get it from the Duke folks. Heath decided while on stage that he wanted the drumsticks that belonged to the band. Oh my. I just tried to step forward and keep talking. It was pretty emotional--but also very difficult to capture our feelings about our last two years and our experience at duke in 5 MINUTES!!! But, I think it went well.

Then, as we left the stage and Heath continued to pine for the drumsticks, they were surrounded by a throng of lovely ladies from Elon who were helping with the event, so they were pretty much in heaven. We're looking forward to the Elonthon--April 8-9, I think.

Heath even went back up and let the mc for the night (brian hoyle who is the "voice of the carolina hurricanes" who is a really great guy!) hold him while they were getting live auction bids. Pretty amazing. It was a moving evening--with beautiful music sung by 3 girls who have been patients at Duke and just the enormity of emotion that comes with seeing people be so supportive of duke children's. Then, the kids got to go have a sleepover with Ama and Grandpa while Chris and I stayed for the end of the fundraiser and a night away from home at the hotel!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

So, you'll hear more about our adventures soon, but i thought I would go ahead and post some pics and tell you a little about our night.

I almost can't imagine, or let myself imagine, what we were doing 2 years ago on this night. What a long way Heath has come!

I ask your prayers for our dear sweet Olivia (PICU roommate) who is back at Duke with some rejection issues. They are having a rough time. And I also ask for prayers for Uncle Robert and Aunt Sarah's family in New Orleans--his cousin's 11-year-old daughter was killed in a tragic accident a couple days after Thanksgiving. There really aren't words for the grief that this family is experiencing right now, and we are with them in Spirit and prayer each day.

Stay safe, warm and grateful for your blessings in this Advent season.

(also, read the blog post below that is also new)

carrie

tumbling through fall and advent

I realized recently that I hadn't made a blog post in a really long time. let's just say that this fall as been quite a wild ride...

We were able to see all of my cousins and their kids at the end of October--quite a wild Halloween time with our neighborhood parade and cousins! My Uncle Robert ("G Robert" to my kids) had been quite ill at Duke, so it was not necessarily for a good reason that we were all together, but as Aunt Nancy reminded us, "We take the gifts we are given and celebrate." Oh, that I could remember those words every day...Uncle G is doing much better and is AT HOME at Lake Lure, which is such a great celebration for our family.

we had a wonderful time celebrating Chris' dad's ordination on Nov. 7. It was my dad's birthday and the anniversary of Heath's diagnosis as well--a big day all around. AND, it was great to be able to be with family and to CELEBRATE SOMETHING so wonderful. Bob worked so hard for so long to get to this ordination. We're all very proud, and we enjoyed seeing so many family and friends during the weekend. It was especially great to see Uncle Robert and Aunt Sarah--we miss them more than we can say!!

My dad came down the next week for a visit--which was so great. The kids really enjoyed having "Pops" around to play with! We had some really nice time with my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Robert, who were still here at Hillcrest at the time.

We had a really nice visit with Nana for a few weeks and then with Grandma Betty and my brother, Pete, and his kids (who most of you who kow EB and Heath know as "the cousins!") for Thanksgiving at Mom and Strow's house. We had dance parties every night and walks in the woods and just good family time. Chris was able to get to Salem, VA, to visit with his parents and his grandmama and Aunt Diane. Grandmama broke her hip and had been in the hospital. She is doing better now, and Chris had a really good "adult" visit (we don't quite know what to do with ourselves as we travel sans our little people...but it is a bit easier). Whew, so we've pretty much seen our whole family, even extended family on both sides, in a little over 2 months!!! Uncle Jamie even came home to the US from Haiti for a while due to some of the violence in Cap Hatian associated with cholera and the recent election. He is working in St. Louis with MFK this month and will return to Haiti in January.

Heath's health has continued to be really good--and even his sleeping has improved a bit. He just loves being in the world, and often that starts at 5:30, which makes me not as pleasant to be in the world by mid-afternoon! :) We have had one minor issue that we are still working on and it has nothing to do with his heart--it is his LEGS! He kept telling us that his legs hurt (in different places) and he was also walking a bit funny. At first it was passed off as "he's just 2 and still developing..." but we started to get a little worried when it was more constant. We had a set of xrays a couple days before Thanksgiving that confirmed that it was not anything scary and probably just a Physical Therapy issue. So, we're going to start some PT this coming Wednesday and see if we can get his legs to stop hurting. Other than that and perhaps his desire to eat nothing but pasta and cheese and bread and drink nothing but chocolate milk (I keep hearing this is normal...), we're great on the health front!

This Friday, Dec. 3, we had the Westminster staff Christmas party at our house. The evening was absolutely lovely--complete with our blessed children "hosting" and welcoming all into the house (they are sometimes more helpful than their parents can take). For us, it was a wonderful way to spend a day that is still pretty fresh in our minds as the day that Heath crashed and was put on life support two years ago. I suspect that those anniversaries will not be as tough as we move along in life, but they are still pretty fresh right now. The whole group decided to sing Christmas carols, and Heath and EB asked if they could "sit" with Monica at the piano. EB handed out books and orders. Heath made himself comfortable and when Monica played, he did too. Her beautiful music was accompanied by a different kind of beautiful music by a sweet boy full of life and energy. As the group sang in beautiful harmonies with the plunking of little fingers on keys in the midst, I couldn't look at Chris across the room. I was so full of gratitude for being in this place, with these wonderful people on such a day. we sang: Silent night, Holy Night. It wasn't silent. But it was certainly very Holy.

the village

They say it takes a village to raise a child. I believe it. As families have moved further and further from living near one another, that village has looked a little different for many people. For us, we are blessed to have family right nearby and also only less than a day's drive away. We are also blessed to have a wonderful church community. Every once in a while I forget how important it is to have that "village" of family, friends and church surrounding us as we try to continue on this journey called parenting.

And then I am reminded...

A couple of weeks ago we went to the Waterford Fair. For those of you who have known my family for a long time, you know that this is a fixture in our schedules each year during the first weekend in October. This year we had over 25 family and friends at nana's house to enjoy each other's company (folks came from Alabama, HAITI, St. Louis, Atlanta, and Colorado!) and the homes tour and crafts fair in her town. It was a wild time of catching up and running after little people and admiring nana's new garden shed (strow calls it the "Jan Kitselman Center for Botanical Studies"--pete, allen and strow built this over a couple weekends and it is amazing! it is in the background of several of these pics)--and going out to have fun at the fair. We were particularly excited to be there this year because we thought that it would really be ok to have Heath out and about and that he would love it. The kids just wanted to be with their cousins.

And it was a really fun time--and then Saturday lunchtime the stomach bug hit. Heath must have picked it up with his immune suppression first. Everyone jumped into gear--Aunt Sam and Kevin taking the girls out, mom with Carson and later comforting sick Heath, Uncle Jamie and Colleen giving up their spaces for Chris and Heath at my dad's house for the "sick bay," family and friends searching until late Saturday night for a 24-hours pharmacy...it goes on and on. I know that is what we just do for each other, but as everyone was gathering to send us off a day early, the tears rose as I realized how rich our lives are with that very "village. "

And then, bless them, many of them got the darn stomach bug too. I guess that is the yuckier aspect of being part of the "village."

It was an ugly virus. Chris got it pretty bad too. Heath took a long time to recover--especially his energy. I finally took him into Duke on Thursday just to get his regular bloodwork and echo just to make sure that everything else was ok. The folks at Duke are incredible. When I emailed late at night that i was worried, I had a text calling me in first thing in the morning. Our amazing pediatrician had been working with us since the virus began--on the phone to pharmacies in virginia, checking in. Again, the "village."

Everything came back looking great, so we knew that he really just needed a little more time than most to recover. and he really has made a great turn in the last few days. If only he would stop waking up at 5:30 every morning!

But alas, i decided to not go to the wedding that Chris was doing in western north carolina for some good family friends, the Swetenbergs, just to be sure. Aunt Cindy had come up from Georgia for the weekend, and the kids and we spent a fun time with mom and strow and Aunt Cindy, who really helped with the kiddos (since daddy had gone to the wedding). Strow did house projects for us while mom and cindy played with kids and helped get stuff ready to have the session of the church over for dinner (Sunday night) while our friends, the Hills, came and escorted EB to a birthday party while i went to help get things ready for the Fall Frolic for Westminster School....WHEW! The "village" in full force.

So i guess it really takes a village to raise a child AND, really, all of us. It takes a village to raise us to the best of who we are. I am grateful for our village.

Have a good week. Love to you all--our village.

carrie

The cousins--helping to "work" on Nana's garden shed.

Aunt, Cindy, Mom, Strow, Kirby and kids with the chandelier that Strow had just moved for me (oh, these house projects are driving everyone a little batty, I think!).

the joys of parenting...

As Heath has started school, we have been so worried about what would happen with his health. He is immune-suppressed. He is in PRESCHOOL...the teachers & other parents have been great about calling to warn us about things that he might have been exposed to. Who would have thought that it would have been the women in his life with the health issues--and so far he has laughed and kept us smiling and has NOT CAUGHT ANYTHING (I am knocking on wood as I am writing this, by the way).

I picked up a yucky cold last week and tried to figure out how on earth not to give it to the kids. Then, on Saturday EB came down with a yucky stomach virus (bless our dear friend katherine who was babysitting when it came on!!! we owe her big!). She was a sick girl. We had all these things planned on Sunday that we had to cancel--preparing for the worst of all of us getting it. But so far, that hasn't happened. Then, as EB was feeling better today, I noticed that she was still favoring the wrist that she had fallen on Friday night while showing us some of her gymnastics moves in the living room. She had told us that it wasn't that bad, had played on the playground and with friends on Saturday...and then had been sick. She finally said, "ok we can go get some pictures taken..." this afternoon. And bless her heart, it was fractured. Her radius had buckled. So, we have a really hip pink cast (many of you will remember her large pink leg cast when she was about 18 months old). After dropping Daddy back off at church, Heath and i decided to cheer her up with painting her nails the same color as the cast while we watched Cars. Heath didn't understand why he shouldn't be able to participate fully in the event, so well, his nails are pink too.

i am sure he will strut right in to class tomorrow, wearing it proudly and pointing it out with his deep, loud voice.

i am sure they have seen worse.

i keep forgetting that you can plan and plan and plan and that life still takes over and usually moves you in a different direction. but that's all part of the journey. and certainly part of parenting.

every once in a while i forget how hard it is to see your children hurt and feel awful, and then I am reminded. But then, in the midst, when they are being themselves and making the best of a pretty awful situation and trying to make each other laugh...and painting each other's nails...well, I also remember the joys.

love to you all. c


IN PICS: Papa came for a great long visit last week! The kids decided to get him to play horse. I hope his back has recovered...

HEath on the first day of school

Ella Brooks and Heath on the day that they got to go in and "meet" the teachers and other students.

milestones & good reports

I am sitting here on the eve of Heath Tuttle's first official day of PRESCHOOL! Yes, he is starting in the MOUSE class tomorrow morning. We've been cleared by our dear friends (he had a really good check-up at Duke last Thursday!!!) at Duke to let him venture even further into the real world--and perhaps I should say, "watch out world, here he comes..."

The Thomas the Train backpack is sitting ready. He went to sleep beautifully--if only his older sister had also hit the sack, I'd be an even happier mama (she had her first day today and was so happy she couldn't go to sleep--I suppose I should be grateful for such things).

The end of the summer has been one crazy wild ride--in the car.

I've been doing some driving to Cary: I was invited to do a 2-month youth ministry consulting with cary presbyterian (you will remember that they are my "home church" and have been so wonderful to us through all our good and tough times). It has been like coming home again in so many ways--except all the players are 13 years older than the last time i was there regularly.but we'll just let that part go... :) I have really enjoyed my time with them. The family adjustment to my brief stint working 15-hours-a-week has been interesting, let's just say. we're grateful for mattie anne's regular afternoon each week with the kids and for chris' friday not-so-off.

To New Orleans: We saw Aunt Sarah, Uncle Robert and Bartlett off to New Orleans--we miss them! They were such a regular part of our lives. The kids keep pretending to travel to New Orleans.

To Virginia: I took the kids to northern virginia to see my family and had a good old time with "the cousins" in Nana's garden.

To Black Mountain: The kids, Chris and Sarah were able to join Pat & Bob in Black Mountain to celebrate Bob's birthday and Bop's 98th birthday. Milestones. so many.

To the beach: We were also able to go to Harker's Island for a few restful days at the end of August. The children slept. We played and actually felt more rested coming home from vacation than we have since we had children. again--milestones. sometimes its the little things like SLEEPING that make all the difference. We came back from Harker's Island a little early to attend one of the most amazing gatherings I can imagine--Duke Hospital's first ever Heart Transplant picnic--celebrating 25 years of heart transplants. There were 700 possible adults and children patients (or their families) from over those years who were invited to come, and I think there were about 120 patients and about 400 people total (families, docs, nurses, etc...) at Duke Gardens. old, young, middle age. i think heath & olivia might have been the youngest transplant patients. because we were running around after our very busy heart transplant kids, we weren't able to hear all of the program--the people i could hear speaking were very emotional and moving--but I suppose we weren't exactly in the moment to reflect too much. the tears came later. i think of all the milestones in that space. wow. below are a few pictures of the pediatric patients who were present and one from the back of the huge group of patients in their pictures. i am sure we'll get the official one at some point, but i thought it would give you an idea of the group.

So there we are. good reports, lots of laughter, a few tears--mostly happy--and a few more milestones met. school tomorrow.

blessings on you and yours.

Good night!


heath wanted to DRIVE the boat.

clowning around with cousin Carson (nana put these pillows on their backs, by the way...:)

a sparkling summer so far

A while ago we were having a little "dance party" before bed. This is a standard in our family. You never know exactly how that dance party is going to happen though--a few months ago heath yelled "break it down" as EB was teaching Aunt Jo some ballet moves. He proceeded to run into their midst, fall on the floor and roll around as if he were BREAKDANCING...no one will claim teaching the child to break dance. hmmm...
Tonight, though, might have taken the cake. We have this little $20 target guitar that is often in the midst of the dancing. For some reason chris was playing it tonight. I was in the other room, and suddenly I heard Heath yell--in his very loud, deep voice--"JESUS! JESUS! JESUS!" I stopped short and said, "um, chris, what is he..." and then heard it again, more clearly, "JESUS!" I ran into the room to see Chris in hysterics on the floor and Heath dancing, with a BIBLE in his hands, singing/yelling, "JESUS!" I am not sure i even have a comment about this. unbelievable.

and there we are. that is how we roll. you never know what is going to happen next in this crazy household. but, we're all healthy and we've been able to really enjoy our summer since heath's hospitalization.

we were able to still go to black mountain for the 4th. we had such a wonderful visit with chris' family and so many of our very best friends! it was so great to be able to laugh with friends and watch our children enjoy playing together.

we came back for a few days and uncle jamie came home from haiti. we had a quick, fun visit from nana and her dear friend (and ours!), fran. And then, we headed to nags head to spend most of a week with my family on my dad's side--aunts, uncles, cousins--so many of us! the kids had so much fun together with "the cousins" as Eb and heath have been calling all of them. They played in the water, dug huge holes and hung out on the wonderful porch. it was a really great vacation. Chris and i have finally realized that "vacation" just means something a bit different with young children. we'll sleep one day.

hmmm...what else? heath's health is good. we're enjoying getting back into the swing of regular home time. if it wasn't so crazy hot, we'd be working on some house projects (chris does NOT love my desire to do so many house projects).
we were the speakers at a fundraiser at duke children's hospital last saturday, which was so moving. it was a group of bikers who also work with walmart's transportation division in hope mills. 250, yes, that is a correct number, bikes came up the road, parked in a parking deck, ate texas roadhouse food (they delivered it from fayetteville too), and then formed a huge line to bring in all of the toys that they were also donating (along with tons of money). i spoke to the group--of 350 people--in the lobby of the children's health center. it was so moving to look up and see people lining the balconies of 3 floors. and, we were reminded again of all that duke has meant to us. we are so grateful to be in a place where we can begin to give back by doing some of these events.

I am tired. I told chris i was coming up to bed an hour ago. This crazy blog will only let me put up 5 pictures at a time, so I have put up 2 more posts of our summer adventures. Here is wishing each of you a little "sparkle" and a whole lot of laughs with family and friends. i know it has been good medicine for us.
love, carrie

sparklers on the 4th of july.

a drum on the head. yes, we're a fun crew.

fun at the beach with family and a gathering with family and friends with uncle jamie before he went back to haiti.

a little too much fun with a $20 guitar, family and friends (having a good evening while uncle jamie was home), and a hilarious song about, well, krispy kreme cheerwine doughnuts. we sure do know how to have a fun night...

more fun family time at nags head--looking at a rainbow, playing with pops, and with all the "cousins" at jockey's ridge. nothing like good family time!

summer vacation pics

Heath surveying the landscape at jockey's ridge in nags head, nc.










rock hopping with papa













paddle boating with the family in lake susan.







a wonderful visit with Bop. Chris' grandfather will be 98 in about 3 weeks!!

Sparklers on the 4th! What fun!

home again

hi dear friends.

i am going to only write quickly to let you know that we are home from the hospital--as of about 3:45 this afternoon. heath had still not been drinking and we were pretty unsure about even wanting to go home, but we realized when we finally took him out for a walk around in his stroller that he would eat if he wasn't in his room. it was as if he had fallen into what I have heard called a "hospital lull" where you can't quite feel better because you just sit and sit and look at the walls of your room. the doctors had already suspected as much and they were willing to let us take him home. he stills feels really stinky and only wants to sit on me (which was lovely, oh when he first started feeling bad LAST WEEK), but he is actually reaching for his sippy cup and asked for mac and cheese. SO, we'll take that as a good sign that we are on the mend. sarah and pat are staying here to help out, which is great.

i will write more and do a little reflecting when i am not quite so exhausted. right now, the only other thing i want to ask for are prayers for our dear sweet friend, olivia. she had surgery on thursday at duke, strangely, and we visited in the picu briefly. then, i walked out of our room yesterday to realize that they were OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS. after all the time we spent as roommates in the picu in the early days of both of them on ECMO (and they are 4 days apart in age), we have been through so much together. what a crazy coincidence. we decided that the next time we see each other it should be at a park in western nc!!!! olivia had a liver biopsy and her gall bladder removed. she is recovering well, and the initial look on the liver seems to be that it is a better case scenario. she still has some tough recovery, though, so please say a prayer for her and her family.

on that note, my friends, good night. i have a feeling it won't be a silent night in this house, but i am so grateful to sleep in my own bed, no matter how long it is.

hospital day 2...

and we're still there. well, chris is there and i am home with eb and pat, who arrived fresh (t(to a very freshly disinfected house--thanks mom!) from black mountain a few hours ago. goodness, i missed my sweet girl this week.

the good news: Heath's heart is fine! We had an echo early today to confirm that there was no heart issue surrounding this virus. everything looked good.

the more frustrating news: heath tuttle is a pretty stubborn sucker. i am reminded by everyone that that is, in fact, why he is alive. he has decided that (this is my observation, at least) a. his throat really hurts and he doesn't want to drink and
b. he is too tired to eat or drink and
c. he said NO! (that is his main word followed by whatever you want him to do i.e. "NO DRINK!"

most days i am grateful for this stubborn streak. today, i am wishing he would relent a bit. he just still is getting hydrated by the iv fluids and he really doesn't have much energy. and he is getting better, just slowly. but this mama wants him to be better NOW! I am also reminded that dehydration is something that can be FIXED, so we really do know that it is going to be ok--just hard to watch your child hurting and not be able to do anything about it.

chris just called and said that heath was eating a ROUND CRACKER (this is a ritz, his favorite) and was still mostly a "no guy" but was at least had a bit more energy. aunt sarah (who stayed with him so we could have some eb time--thanks) said that she thought his vocabulary was growing a bit more than "no" since this morning. :) those of you who know my little fella pretty well would really be shocked to see how little energy he has--but you would not be surprised that he was ready to tell me pretty clearly where he wanted me to put a popsicle i was trying desperately to make him eat this afternoon. :)

we are hoping that we might take him home tomorrow afternoon. i am not going to count on it until i see him drink a bit more. he has to pee his own pee (i.e. off fluids for a while) before that happens. we shall see.

we continue to be so grateful for the love and support from near and far. it brings tears to my eyes as i write this. it makes it a bit easier to get through hard days when you know there are people praying all over. thank you.
i am not surprised, but i am also reminded as i walk through the halls at duke and have staff come over to visit us from other areas that we are so incredibly blessed to be in a hospital like it. what an amazing group of people we have caring for us. i stand in awe.

on that note, i promised everyone that i would get some sleep tonight. it has been a long week.
hope you do too!
hopefully even more positive news tomorrow.

back in the hospital...

I realized that many of you may have heard that heath was sick and not know much else, so i am doing a quick blog update--and will do more later. i am home taking a shower after a night in the hospital with heath. he is doing much better.

back story--on sunday morning he woke up with a fever. there is a virus (or a couple we now know) going around right now, so it made sense that he had picked it up now that we are more "out in the world." at first he still seemed ok so we thought it would just run its course. by day 4 he was not eating or drinking much of anything, was throwing up here and there and was pretty lethargic. but he would rally each night a bit and we would think he was turning a corner. finally, yesterday afternoon, we made the decision, with our wonderful pedatrician, to take him to the ED at duke to get some fluids. we were told to plan to stay overnight so they could monitor him.
turns out he was really dehydrated. and, he has some weird strain (I say weird because i can't pronounce it) of hand, foot and mouth disease. he only has the fever and throat ulcers, though. he has been a pretty sick dude, but we're hoping with fluids he will start bouncing back pretty quickly. this morning he was ASKING for a sip of the drink we had for him, which was great. AND, he had enough energy to do his "almost done" repeating thing in a very mad voice the whole time they were doing his vitals, which was also a good sign.

SO, they have to run the regular tests that they run on heart transplant kids who get sick as well as the regular tests that they run on kids who have this virus, and hopefully we'll be home this afternoon or tomorrow. we shall see.

chris is getting ready to pull into the hospital. he has been in decatur all week doing his last 2-week dmin class. eb has been spending the week with mimi and papa and at clubs at montreat, so she luckily had a great time and didn't have to deal with the sickness of the week. mom, strow and sarah have been wonderful caregivers. whew.

i will write more later today with details. thanks so much for your prayers.
love, carrie

good tired...

AND HERE WE ARE--Hands on hips...observing the chimps in the rain...looking very "in charge..." that is my guy.

We had quite a memorial day weekend! Mimi (Pat--chris' mom) was here. Grandpa strow came over and fixed up a swingset that a friend had given us all day on Saturday (will post a pic of this soon too). On Sunday evening we went to a Bulls game with friends and family (i will post a picture of this soon--hilarious). On Monday we went to the zoo and met our good friends, the Oedys, for a rain-filled zoo extravaganza--complete with an hour or so
in the chimp "house" during a pretty heavy storm. We went straight from the zoo to be with some of Chris' family in Hillsborough for a memorial day cook-out--so delicious and so much fun. wow. we were tired, but a really "good tired." we were feeling so full--of love for family and friends, of excitement for being able to get out into the world. good tired.

it has been so much fun to watch heath enjoy getting to be in the world. he loves it--well, he loves pretty much everything except for being separated from mom and dad (who also have had a few chances to sneak off to join the world too!). we got so excited about joining the world in the last few weeks that I think we almost did a little too much. we're trying to settle back down a little. may was a busy month! i certainly won't complain too much about that, though.

aside from our comings and goings--really good health news! we had an appointment at duke for a regular cardiac transplant clinic check-up. Heath had a grand time with "doctor boni" (dr. carboni, the cardiologist who will follow him throughout the years). I was glad that they got to see him pretty "normal" (he was full of himself). We were able to get him through the echo without being sedated--i must say it may have been thanks to the max and ruby dvd that i brought and the attention of 3 wonderful nurses and mommy lying next to him in the bed--whatever it takes. He also barely cried during his blood draw. I was so relieved. We had all been dreading those two parts. The results--all looks good! They are really thrilled with his continued progress. We were told that there isn't much of anything he can't do now--other than continuing to stay away from sick people (he is always going to be immune suppressed). step by step.

so, i think we'll plan to be "good tired" for a long time. he's a busy, healthy guy.

blessings to you all.

carrie

joining the world...

So we went to church today. That isn't really that different from any other day since Chris works there and EB goes to school there. The difference of this day: Heath joined us. He got to go to church for the first time since last summer. We had been at a few events last week, but it was really cool to take him to the childcare room and drop him off like the other kids. He was the first one there and started to cry when I left. Ella Brooks said, "mommy, i will stay with him to make him feel better..." that is a good sister. And they had a wonderful time.

this is a good day.

we have had a great visit with Aunt Diane (Bob's sister) and Chris' dad. They are here until tomorrow. Chris and i have even been able to get out on the town a couple times this week--shocking. On Tuesday we went to a meeting at Duke hospital as they were bringing together past PICU patient families to gather information about our experiences. It was really good to see old friends (the Landreths) and to share our individual and collective experiences. I stayed talking with several folks until 10pm. It also reminded me not to be completely lulled into forgetting what Heath (and our family) have been through--not to forget to be thankful for each day. It is amazing how easy that can happen. I suppose there is a fine line--you want to be as normal as possible but also to not forget.

We have had a busy few weeks--full of world-joining activities. It started with participating in the Elonthon a few weeks ago. I spoke to the wonderful group of Elon students who were dancing all night to raise money for Duke Children's Hospital. We were one of their "miracle families." I think they are the "miracle" to be such great people giving up so much of their time to help others. The kids had so much fun and so much attention--Heath even ran on the stage. EB continues to be scared of the chick fila cow (long story). Our friends the Hills and the Childs came to hear us. It was a very cool experience--I highly recommend coming to support it next year (I will give more details).

We got to spend a fun time with my Nana visiting at mom and strow's a few weeks back--and lots of good time with "ama" while she was on her break from year-round school. EB got to ride her first horse while on her school field trip. Our dear wonderful neighbor, Bob Sneed (the kids all call him "Bob Sneed" always) re-made a dollhouse that he had made for his daughter 30 years ago for Ella Brooks, and he delivered it, which was a special treat.

And then, we went on a trip!!! AND, our children slept through the night each night on the trip!! It is a banner spring in the Tuttle family.

We made our way to Georgia for my sister, Cindy's wedding. It was a such a great time--see the previous post for more details.

I think I love that I have absolutely NO OTHER UPDATES about health. I hope that I will continue to be able to throw pictures and funny stories to you for a while. Our next doctor appt. at Duke (for just check-up and blood work) on June 3.

have a good, good day, my friends.