BRAVERY...

We went to mom and strow's for dinner tonight--a "celebration" of sorts. You see, today is the 3rd anniversary of Heath's heart transplant.

In the dark car on the way home, EB asked about a scheduling issue tomorrow and I said, "well, Heath has a big doctor's appointment tomorrow..." and Heath piped up, "well, there are NO shots at this appointment." I said, "well, no sweetie, that isn't actually true..." trying to figure out how to tell him that he was going to have botox injected into his lower right leg, actually. EB jumped in and said, "but if you have to get a shot, Heathie, you just are going to have to be really brave" to which he answered, "no, ella brooks, I am NOT brave..."

I beg to differ.

The "wreath" that you see around Heath's face in the picture is actually made up of the hands of all of the family members who were here for Christmas right as Heath had his transplant 3 years ago. It hung in his hospital room. He pulled it out of the box as we were decorating a few weeks ago and ran around with it on his head. He would run away from me with that twinkle in his eye and say, "you have to catch me to get that picture..." I can think of no better image as I think through the past 3 years--for where we were, and where we are now. Tonight we danced--hard.

Everything has felt hard, or heavy, in the past few days. We have been on the regular whirlwind of advent and christmas preparation, with some added emotion. This time of year is full of those ups and downs for us--in one moment marveling at the holy joy of singing "Go Tell it on the Mountain" at the top of our lungs with the church staff in our living room a few Friday nights ago. In the next, we were remembering sweet Angelina's family in Texas and the horrible loss they suffered three years ago. We can celebrate Angelina's beautiful spirit and her gift of life as we watch and marvel at our special boy tonight.

Chris and I were able to get a night away (thanks to groupon and his parents!) on Friday only to return to find out that one of the other heath transplant patients at Duke had passed away. I was able to go to the visitation last night--with such a heavy heart. Please pray for Gavin's family tonight. We go tomorrow for Heath to have botox injections in his lower right leg, hopefully to help some of the pain that he has been feeling. We go on Thursday for our quarterly cardiac check-up at Duke.

BUT, generally, we will go about our lives pretty normally (ha--we don't really dare to think that we are really "normal"--just look at that picture of me singing christmas carols with my dog up there...:) with some boot-wearing, and medicine thrown in. We cherish our wonderful little people--their spirit and their spunk. We cherish an amazing family and community of friends and congregations who have held us up when we weren't sure we could stand on our own.

And when that conversation sprang up so innocently behind me in the car tonight, my emotions finally got the better of me. I cried silently in the dark for a few minutes with such an amazing mixture of emotions, and then I quickly jumped back into the conversation--that's the mom's job, right?

Thank you for helping to give us the strength to be brave for the past 3 years.

Thank you for continuing to pray that our wonderful guy will be brave in midst of all that comes his way.
And don't forget, in the craziness of this time of year, to take a few minutes to hug just a little longer, pay a little more attention than you'd probably like to, help a few more who really need it, and to relish in the sacred moments. I don't think you'll regret it.