the village

They say it takes a village to raise a child. I believe it. As families have moved further and further from living near one another, that village has looked a little different for many people. For us, we are blessed to have family right nearby and also only less than a day's drive away. We are also blessed to have a wonderful church community. Every once in a while I forget how important it is to have that "village" of family, friends and church surrounding us as we try to continue on this journey called parenting.

And then I am reminded...

A couple of weeks ago we went to the Waterford Fair. For those of you who have known my family for a long time, you know that this is a fixture in our schedules each year during the first weekend in October. This year we had over 25 family and friends at nana's house to enjoy each other's company (folks came from Alabama, HAITI, St. Louis, Atlanta, and Colorado!) and the homes tour and crafts fair in her town. It was a wild time of catching up and running after little people and admiring nana's new garden shed (strow calls it the "Jan Kitselman Center for Botanical Studies"--pete, allen and strow built this over a couple weekends and it is amazing! it is in the background of several of these pics)--and going out to have fun at the fair. We were particularly excited to be there this year because we thought that it would really be ok to have Heath out and about and that he would love it. The kids just wanted to be with their cousins.

And it was a really fun time--and then Saturday lunchtime the stomach bug hit. Heath must have picked it up with his immune suppression first. Everyone jumped into gear--Aunt Sam and Kevin taking the girls out, mom with Carson and later comforting sick Heath, Uncle Jamie and Colleen giving up their spaces for Chris and Heath at my dad's house for the "sick bay," family and friends searching until late Saturday night for a 24-hours pharmacy...it goes on and on. I know that is what we just do for each other, but as everyone was gathering to send us off a day early, the tears rose as I realized how rich our lives are with that very "village. "

And then, bless them, many of them got the darn stomach bug too. I guess that is the yuckier aspect of being part of the "village."

It was an ugly virus. Chris got it pretty bad too. Heath took a long time to recover--especially his energy. I finally took him into Duke on Thursday just to get his regular bloodwork and echo just to make sure that everything else was ok. The folks at Duke are incredible. When I emailed late at night that i was worried, I had a text calling me in first thing in the morning. Our amazing pediatrician had been working with us since the virus began--on the phone to pharmacies in virginia, checking in. Again, the "village."

Everything came back looking great, so we knew that he really just needed a little more time than most to recover. and he really has made a great turn in the last few days. If only he would stop waking up at 5:30 every morning!

But alas, i decided to not go to the wedding that Chris was doing in western north carolina for some good family friends, the Swetenbergs, just to be sure. Aunt Cindy had come up from Georgia for the weekend, and the kids and we spent a fun time with mom and strow and Aunt Cindy, who really helped with the kiddos (since daddy had gone to the wedding). Strow did house projects for us while mom and cindy played with kids and helped get stuff ready to have the session of the church over for dinner (Sunday night) while our friends, the Hills, came and escorted EB to a birthday party while i went to help get things ready for the Fall Frolic for Westminster School....WHEW! The "village" in full force.

So i guess it really takes a village to raise a child AND, really, all of us. It takes a village to raise us to the best of who we are. I am grateful for our village.

Have a good week. Love to you all--our village.

carrie

The cousins--helping to "work" on Nana's garden shed.

Aunt, Cindy, Mom, Strow, Kirby and kids with the chandelier that Strow had just moved for me (oh, these house projects are driving everyone a little batty, I think!).

the joys of parenting...

As Heath has started school, we have been so worried about what would happen with his health. He is immune-suppressed. He is in PRESCHOOL...the teachers & other parents have been great about calling to warn us about things that he might have been exposed to. Who would have thought that it would have been the women in his life with the health issues--and so far he has laughed and kept us smiling and has NOT CAUGHT ANYTHING (I am knocking on wood as I am writing this, by the way).

I picked up a yucky cold last week and tried to figure out how on earth not to give it to the kids. Then, on Saturday EB came down with a yucky stomach virus (bless our dear friend katherine who was babysitting when it came on!!! we owe her big!). She was a sick girl. We had all these things planned on Sunday that we had to cancel--preparing for the worst of all of us getting it. But so far, that hasn't happened. Then, as EB was feeling better today, I noticed that she was still favoring the wrist that she had fallen on Friday night while showing us some of her gymnastics moves in the living room. She had told us that it wasn't that bad, had played on the playground and with friends on Saturday...and then had been sick. She finally said, "ok we can go get some pictures taken..." this afternoon. And bless her heart, it was fractured. Her radius had buckled. So, we have a really hip pink cast (many of you will remember her large pink leg cast when she was about 18 months old). After dropping Daddy back off at church, Heath and i decided to cheer her up with painting her nails the same color as the cast while we watched Cars. Heath didn't understand why he shouldn't be able to participate fully in the event, so well, his nails are pink too.

i am sure he will strut right in to class tomorrow, wearing it proudly and pointing it out with his deep, loud voice.

i am sure they have seen worse.

i keep forgetting that you can plan and plan and plan and that life still takes over and usually moves you in a different direction. but that's all part of the journey. and certainly part of parenting.

every once in a while i forget how hard it is to see your children hurt and feel awful, and then I am reminded. But then, in the midst, when they are being themselves and making the best of a pretty awful situation and trying to make each other laugh...and painting each other's nails...well, I also remember the joys.

love to you all. c


IN PICS: Papa came for a great long visit last week! The kids decided to get him to play horse. I hope his back has recovered...

HEath on the first day of school

Ella Brooks and Heath on the day that they got to go in and "meet" the teachers and other students.

milestones & good reports

I am sitting here on the eve of Heath Tuttle's first official day of PRESCHOOL! Yes, he is starting in the MOUSE class tomorrow morning. We've been cleared by our dear friends (he had a really good check-up at Duke last Thursday!!!) at Duke to let him venture even further into the real world--and perhaps I should say, "watch out world, here he comes..."

The Thomas the Train backpack is sitting ready. He went to sleep beautifully--if only his older sister had also hit the sack, I'd be an even happier mama (she had her first day today and was so happy she couldn't go to sleep--I suppose I should be grateful for such things).

The end of the summer has been one crazy wild ride--in the car.

I've been doing some driving to Cary: I was invited to do a 2-month youth ministry consulting with cary presbyterian (you will remember that they are my "home church" and have been so wonderful to us through all our good and tough times). It has been like coming home again in so many ways--except all the players are 13 years older than the last time i was there regularly.but we'll just let that part go... :) I have really enjoyed my time with them. The family adjustment to my brief stint working 15-hours-a-week has been interesting, let's just say. we're grateful for mattie anne's regular afternoon each week with the kids and for chris' friday not-so-off.

To New Orleans: We saw Aunt Sarah, Uncle Robert and Bartlett off to New Orleans--we miss them! They were such a regular part of our lives. The kids keep pretending to travel to New Orleans.

To Virginia: I took the kids to northern virginia to see my family and had a good old time with "the cousins" in Nana's garden.

To Black Mountain: The kids, Chris and Sarah were able to join Pat & Bob in Black Mountain to celebrate Bob's birthday and Bop's 98th birthday. Milestones. so many.

To the beach: We were also able to go to Harker's Island for a few restful days at the end of August. The children slept. We played and actually felt more rested coming home from vacation than we have since we had children. again--milestones. sometimes its the little things like SLEEPING that make all the difference. We came back from Harker's Island a little early to attend one of the most amazing gatherings I can imagine--Duke Hospital's first ever Heart Transplant picnic--celebrating 25 years of heart transplants. There were 700 possible adults and children patients (or their families) from over those years who were invited to come, and I think there were about 120 patients and about 400 people total (families, docs, nurses, etc...) at Duke Gardens. old, young, middle age. i think heath & olivia might have been the youngest transplant patients. because we were running around after our very busy heart transplant kids, we weren't able to hear all of the program--the people i could hear speaking were very emotional and moving--but I suppose we weren't exactly in the moment to reflect too much. the tears came later. i think of all the milestones in that space. wow. below are a few pictures of the pediatric patients who were present and one from the back of the huge group of patients in their pictures. i am sure we'll get the official one at some point, but i thought it would give you an idea of the group.

So there we are. good reports, lots of laughter, a few tears--mostly happy--and a few more milestones met. school tomorrow.

blessings on you and yours.

Good night!


heath wanted to DRIVE the boat.

clowning around with cousin Carson (nana put these pillows on their backs, by the way...:)

a sparkling summer so far

A while ago we were having a little "dance party" before bed. This is a standard in our family. You never know exactly how that dance party is going to happen though--a few months ago heath yelled "break it down" as EB was teaching Aunt Jo some ballet moves. He proceeded to run into their midst, fall on the floor and roll around as if he were BREAKDANCING...no one will claim teaching the child to break dance. hmmm...
Tonight, though, might have taken the cake. We have this little $20 target guitar that is often in the midst of the dancing. For some reason chris was playing it tonight. I was in the other room, and suddenly I heard Heath yell--in his very loud, deep voice--"JESUS! JESUS! JESUS!" I stopped short and said, "um, chris, what is he..." and then heard it again, more clearly, "JESUS!" I ran into the room to see Chris in hysterics on the floor and Heath dancing, with a BIBLE in his hands, singing/yelling, "JESUS!" I am not sure i even have a comment about this. unbelievable.

and there we are. that is how we roll. you never know what is going to happen next in this crazy household. but, we're all healthy and we've been able to really enjoy our summer since heath's hospitalization.

we were able to still go to black mountain for the 4th. we had such a wonderful visit with chris' family and so many of our very best friends! it was so great to be able to laugh with friends and watch our children enjoy playing together.

we came back for a few days and uncle jamie came home from haiti. we had a quick, fun visit from nana and her dear friend (and ours!), fran. And then, we headed to nags head to spend most of a week with my family on my dad's side--aunts, uncles, cousins--so many of us! the kids had so much fun together with "the cousins" as Eb and heath have been calling all of them. They played in the water, dug huge holes and hung out on the wonderful porch. it was a really great vacation. Chris and i have finally realized that "vacation" just means something a bit different with young children. we'll sleep one day.

hmmm...what else? heath's health is good. we're enjoying getting back into the swing of regular home time. if it wasn't so crazy hot, we'd be working on some house projects (chris does NOT love my desire to do so many house projects).
we were the speakers at a fundraiser at duke children's hospital last saturday, which was so moving. it was a group of bikers who also work with walmart's transportation division in hope mills. 250, yes, that is a correct number, bikes came up the road, parked in a parking deck, ate texas roadhouse food (they delivered it from fayetteville too), and then formed a huge line to bring in all of the toys that they were also donating (along with tons of money). i spoke to the group--of 350 people--in the lobby of the children's health center. it was so moving to look up and see people lining the balconies of 3 floors. and, we were reminded again of all that duke has meant to us. we are so grateful to be in a place where we can begin to give back by doing some of these events.

I am tired. I told chris i was coming up to bed an hour ago. This crazy blog will only let me put up 5 pictures at a time, so I have put up 2 more posts of our summer adventures. Here is wishing each of you a little "sparkle" and a whole lot of laughs with family and friends. i know it has been good medicine for us.
love, carrie

sparklers on the 4th of july.

a drum on the head. yes, we're a fun crew.

fun at the beach with family and a gathering with family and friends with uncle jamie before he went back to haiti.

a little too much fun with a $20 guitar, family and friends (having a good evening while uncle jamie was home), and a hilarious song about, well, krispy kreme cheerwine doughnuts. we sure do know how to have a fun night...

more fun family time at nags head--looking at a rainbow, playing with pops, and with all the "cousins" at jockey's ridge. nothing like good family time!

summer vacation pics

Heath surveying the landscape at jockey's ridge in nags head, nc.










rock hopping with papa













paddle boating with the family in lake susan.







a wonderful visit with Bop. Chris' grandfather will be 98 in about 3 weeks!!

Sparklers on the 4th! What fun!

home again

hi dear friends.

i am going to only write quickly to let you know that we are home from the hospital--as of about 3:45 this afternoon. heath had still not been drinking and we were pretty unsure about even wanting to go home, but we realized when we finally took him out for a walk around in his stroller that he would eat if he wasn't in his room. it was as if he had fallen into what I have heard called a "hospital lull" where you can't quite feel better because you just sit and sit and look at the walls of your room. the doctors had already suspected as much and they were willing to let us take him home. he stills feels really stinky and only wants to sit on me (which was lovely, oh when he first started feeling bad LAST WEEK), but he is actually reaching for his sippy cup and asked for mac and cheese. SO, we'll take that as a good sign that we are on the mend. sarah and pat are staying here to help out, which is great.

i will write more and do a little reflecting when i am not quite so exhausted. right now, the only other thing i want to ask for are prayers for our dear sweet friend, olivia. she had surgery on thursday at duke, strangely, and we visited in the picu briefly. then, i walked out of our room yesterday to realize that they were OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBORS. after all the time we spent as roommates in the picu in the early days of both of them on ECMO (and they are 4 days apart in age), we have been through so much together. what a crazy coincidence. we decided that the next time we see each other it should be at a park in western nc!!!! olivia had a liver biopsy and her gall bladder removed. she is recovering well, and the initial look on the liver seems to be that it is a better case scenario. she still has some tough recovery, though, so please say a prayer for her and her family.

on that note, my friends, good night. i have a feeling it won't be a silent night in this house, but i am so grateful to sleep in my own bed, no matter how long it is.