so last year on Dec. 3 at 10:30 a.m. i was rushing around to get the kids ready to go get heath "checked" at the pediatrician, knowing in my heart that something was very wrong...only to live out some of the worst moments any parent could imagine a few hours later. This year at 10:30, my sweet, healthy son was patting the REAR END of a very nice stranger in line at the grocery store! my, how things have changed.
hilarious. i needed a few more things at the store(we're having chris' whole wonderful staff over for staff christmas party on saturday night!), and I knew that Heath would just be thrilled to drive the car cart and eat a sugar cookie. So, I scrubbed the darn car cart with all my power and all the wipes available and we went shopping with heath "vrummm, vrumming" pretty much at the top of his lungs (luckily there were about 5 other people in the store). As we were checking out, there was a little problem with the amount ringing up, so I was paying attention to what the manager and the cashier were doing with my bill (yes, i am a sale shopper and I KNEW it wasn't right...) until I heard an eruption of laughter from the line next to us and realized that my blessed child was the root of the eruption. The other cashier said, "ma'am, we're laughing because your very friendly son just patted this very nice lady's behind," and with that he and all the other employees began laughing louder with, "well, I never saw that before...he sure is friendly..." you don't know the half of it. as we were walking out to the car, I apologized about 3 times to the lady, who also thought it was hilarious and even more so because the cashier had been in the process of trying delicately to ask her if she wanted a senior citizen discount at the moment of the "pats." As I was getting Heath in the car, I said, "yes, and he's a preachers' kid to boot." She said, "well, I am a preacher's wife and that's just fine." She told me that her husband was a retired episcopal priest and I told her that my husband was the new pastor at Westminster (this would be the point where Chris would be rolling his eyes and asking where my sweet son got his ability to make friends so quickly...) and the lady said, "oh I love him! we come over to hear him preach every once in awhile. I am heading over to my church right now and the ladies are going to love this one..."
As she was walking to her car, she stopped short and turned around and said,"I always hated what happened with you all last year--what a way to start in a new place. I prayed for you and your son all the time." and I said, "Well, he just patted you on the rear end." And then she said, "I think I am going to cry. I can't believe it was him. He seems so healthy." And I added, "and frisky too..." :)
and there we are, my friends. if we couldn't find something to laugh about, we'd probably cry with tears of joy, tough memories, fears and gratitute.
we actually had a great day. my dear sister-in-law, knowing what day it was, came over and kept the kids so chris and i could go on a lunch date. we sat, by ourselves for quite some time, high at the university club looking out over all of durham, and clinked our sweet tea glasses to a better year. and then we actually started talking about plans for something else--because we have the ability to plan a bit these days...
it wasn't until sarah and i had talked a little more later, and heath was asleep, eb at a friend's house, a rare quiet house, that i really started to remember that day. (For those of you who may have signed on later-this day a year ago started with the pediatrician's office, an ambulance ride, crashing in the ER at Duke, several hours of those things you have seen on tv as they are trying to stabilize someone culminating in Heath ending up on life support late in the evening--try putting that in one sentence...)
and as i cooked (that is just what i do), I opened the door and let in the sunshine and fresh air, and I held all those moments of horror and fear in my heart.
AND, I remembered how important you all were to this journey. You dropped everything you were doing and ran to our sides, or you prayed and told your friends to pray, or cooked, or played 'friends' with ella brooks. you cried with us, you laughed with us. our family never left our sides--spending countless nights in the hospital, putting up christmas, giving up vacation days, trying to hold us. each one of us remembers different parts of that day and the surrounding days, in different ways.
and as i remember, i do it mainly to find hope in all things--who would have thought that we'd be here a year ago today?
i watched heath run after the big kids at the bus stop, giggling, we had a fun family evening with playing doctor (ironic, i think, but good to watch both kids laugh as they pretended to listen to our hearts) and decorating the christmas tree, and rolling around and listening to music.
and when i put heath to sleep, i must admit i held him a little longer than usual, kissed him a couple extra times and sang "you are my sunshine"--just because I could.
all my love. carrie
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